BedPage

Bed page. What could be better than perusing my website, finding a really sweet porn tube filled with free smut, and then furiously stroking yourself to a mind-blowing explosive climax. For those of you who do, how about having a hot slut stroke you? Perhaps you can upgrade from a quick one to a full-blown, complete oral massage. I guess it all depends on what your erotic masseuse offers and how much cash you have in your pocket. Either way, BedPage can help you find a massage that fits your needs and budget.

BedPage.com popped up just two years ago, probably in response to the crackdown on sites like Craigslist and Backpage. Hell, they have entire pages linked to their footer going about their effectiveness as an alternative to Backpage. I guess all those horny Johns and desk-bound people with chronic knots in their backs need somewhere to go; BedPage gets millions of hits a month, so it looks like a lot of their users have found a place to go.

Erotic Massage and Used Cars in Your Neighborhood

The landing page to BedPage.com looks almost identical to Craigslist and Backpage. It is a huge list of cities around the world, broken down by country, province, and state. Most of the cities are in the United States, but they have a pretty damn huge selection of locations basically everywhere. You can even find escorts in Middle Eastern countries, where I'm pretty sure they cut off your fucking head to beat the assholes.

Once you select a city, you are taken to the portal for that location. There you will find all sorts of rough categories for their classified listings. The bed page has all the typical things you'd expect, from used car sales to advertisements for musicians to "business opportunities." The "business opportunities" are mostly Ponzi schemes for housewives willing to prey on each other for embarrassingly small amounts of cash and a stockpile of garage leggings and vitamins.

The site offers all kinds of sexual services, including phone sex operators, strippers, trans escorts, and dominatrix sluts who won't touch your cock unless they whip or kick it with their savage boots. Today we are going to focus on the list of erotic massages on this site.

Two sections full of the same listings

I loaded up BedPage looking for a beautiful woman with very talented hands that I could pay to touch my entire body. The first thing I noticed is that these listings are actually filed under two different categories. The site would do really well to merge these, so if you really want to evaluate your erotic massage options for the evening, you are going to have to look through both of them.

The adult listings for each city are split into a bunch of sexy categories like adult jobs, dominatrix and fetish, and escorts. Here you can find a section of the Bodyrubs listings.

You'll find very similar and often overlapping listings of kinky masseuses in the Massage category of BedPage's Services. Yes, I agree: it's fucking stupid and a pain in the ass, and I don't know what they were thinking in the first place dividing them up like this. No one is going to buy their mother a gift card for a healthy massage at Backpage's alternative, because BedPage obviously knows this and makes you go through the same Adults Only gate to get into either section.

But what can I say . I didn't set this up and all I can do is whine a bit as I write this review. Anyone who uses this site should browse both sections or they just might miss out on a really good back rub with the full release.

MaSsAgE U LoNgTiMe (Heart, Heart, Car Crash) LOCAL RELEASE (Eggplant)

In both the Bodyrubs and Massage areas, listings appear the same way. This is the old fashioned Craigslist format that I'm tired of, like 20 years ago. Instead of the sexy lady thumbnails you get on most massage/escort sites, BedPage gives you a bunch of text and a shit ton of emojis. Most massage listings scream at you in all caps, just in case you are DEAF. Well, I have to think that many of the users here are fucking old, because they don't know any better than to use this new, but outdated site.

This is a terrible cluster fuck. The only way to know what your potential masseuse is like is to see I CAN MAKE UR SEX DREAMS CUM TRUE (car emoji, explosion emoji) DON'T MISS OUT (heart emoji) HEAD 2 TOE (frog emoji) FULL mAsSaGe W SWALLoW (lips, a FLOWER emoji, BOWLING BALL emoji) is how you click on a listing with a title like Yes, this is the actual title of the listing and most listings read that way. Each listing opens in a new tab, so be prepared for a lot of clicking.

Based on these titles, this is probably a good place to find an erotic massage from a retarded girl. I wonder how much of that retarded strength would work for an erotic massage. I'm sure they can help you get the kinks out of your neck, but I'm a little worried that you'll stroke your fleshy dog too hard and he'll die.

Visit a local masseuse for a rubdown.

The good news is that most of the listings seem to have pictures. If I'm going to get a penis massage from an illiterate girl, I hope she's at least sexy as fuck. That said, the idiot girl who posted the "Are youbstressed and need a massage" listing seems to have been eliminated from consideration because she forgot to write down her contact information.

Many listings put their phone number in the post title along with a flower emoji, while others put it in the introduction or use BedPage's built-in contact button. The end user - you, me, or anyone else seeking an adult massage - does not have to sign up or log onto the website to see this contact information. This is good news for those who worry about their wives knowing about their totally innocent massages.

I must say, however, that I am a little skeptical of some of these listings. Some of the pictures look like the typical amateur semi-porn you see on other escort sites.

Another huge hole in their system is the complete lack of user reviews. On most of the good escort sites these days, all decent erotic massages have reviews from guys who have used their services. That helps a lot when you are trying to choose a beautiful, talented girl. You wouldn't order a dubbed sex doll from Amazon if there were zero reviews, and you wouldn't have to pay a lot of money for a flesh and blood bitch with no references.

While browsing Bedpage, I kept asking myself who this website is for. They set out to be an alternative to Backpage, and I'm happy to say that they've succeeded completely: a site that is an alternative to Backpage, and this one is a complete success. If you are older and it is something you are familiar with, I mostly understand that, but there are much better options out there for finding a dirty massage in your area. At least on other sites you can browse thumbnails instead of a wall of sexual language with a bunch of emojis thrown in.

I am sure you can find a good erotic massage on BedPage and its sister sites Ebackpage & Ibackpage, but it will be more work than it is on other sites like it. I can't recommend this to anyone unless they really miss that shitty, old, outdated Craigslist/Backpage format. If you are really interested in paying someone to touch you tonight, I suggest you use something else from my list of erotic massage sites.

Bed page. What could be better than perusing my website, finding a really sweet porn tube filled with free smut, and then furiously stroking yourself to a mind-blowing explosive climax. For those of you who do, how about having a hot slut stroke you? Perhaps you can upgrade from a quick one to a full-blown, complete oral massage. I guess it all depends on what your erotic masseuse offers and how much cash you have in your pocket. Either way, BedPage can help you find a massage that fits your needs and budget. BedPage.com popped up just two years ago, probably in response to the crackdown on sites like Craigslist and Backpage. Hell, they have entire pages linked to their footer going about their effectiveness as an alternative to Backpage. I guess all those horny Johns and desk-bound people with chronic knots in their backs need somewhere to go; BedPage gets millions of hits a month, so it looks like a lot of their users have found a place to go. Erotic Massage and Used Cars in Your Neighborhood The landing page to BedPage.com looks almost identical to Craigslist and Backpage. It is a huge list of cities around the world, broken down by country, province, and state. Most of the cities are in the United States, but they have a pretty damn huge selection of locations basically everywhere. You can even find escorts in Middle Eastern countries, where I'm pretty sure they cut off your fucking head to beat the assholes. Once you select a city, you are taken to the portal for that location. There you will find all sorts of rough categories for their classified listings. The bed page has all the typical things you'd expect, from used car sales to advertisements for musicians to "business opportunities." The "business opportunities" are mostly Ponzi schemes for housewives willing to prey on each other for embarrassingly small amounts of cash and a stockpile of garage leggings and vitamins. The site offers all kinds of sexual services, including phone sex operators, strippers, trans escorts, and dominatrix sluts who won't touch your cock unless they whip or kick it with their savage boots. Today we are going to focus on the list of erotic massages on this site. Two sections full of the same listings I loaded up BedPage looking for a beautiful woman with very talented hands that I could pay to touch my entire body. The first thing I noticed is that these listings are actually filed under two different categories. The site would do really well to merge these, so if you really want to evaluate your erotic massage options for the evening, you are going to have to look through both of them. The adult listings for each city are split into a bunch of sexy categories like adult jobs, dominatrix and fetish, and escorts. Here you can find a section of the Bodyrubs listings. You'll find very similar and often overlapping listings of kinky masseuses in the Massage category of BedPage's Services. Yes, I agree: it's fucking stupid and a pain in the ass, and I don't know what they were thinking in the first place dividing them up like this. No one is going to buy their mother a gift card for a healthy massage at Backpage's alternative, because BedPage obviously knows this and makes you go through the same Adults Only gate to get into either section. But what can I say . I didn't set this up and all I can do is whine a bit as I write this review. Anyone who uses this site should browse both sections or they just might miss out on a really good back rub with the full release. MaSsAgE U LoNgTiMe (Heart, Heart, Car Crash) LOCAL RELEASE (Eggplant) In both the Bodyrubs and Massage areas, listings appear the same way. This is the old fashioned Craigslist format that I'm tired of, like 20 years ago. Instead of the sexy lady thumbnails you get on most massage/escort sites, BedPage gives you a bunch of text and a shit ton of emojis. Most massage listings scream at you in all caps, just in case you are DEAF. Well, I have to think that many of the users here are fucking old, because they don't know any better than to use this new, but outdated site. This is a terrible cluster fuck. The only way to know what your potential masseuse is like is to see I CAN MAKE UR SEX DREAMS CUM TRUE (car emoji, explosion emoji) DON'T MISS OUT (heart emoji) HEAD 2 TOE (frog emoji) FULL mAsSaGe W SWALLoW (lips, a FLOWER emoji, BOWLING BALL emoji) is how you click on a listing with a title like Yes, this is the actual title of the listing and most listings read that way. Each listing opens in a new tab, so be prepared for a lot of clicking. Based on these titles, this is probably a good place to find an erotic massage from a retarded girl. I wonder how much of that retarded strength would work for an erotic massage. I'm sure they can help you get the kinks out of your neck, but I'm a little worried that you'll stroke your fleshy dog too hard and he'll die. Visit a local masseuse for a rubdown. The good news is that most of the listings seem to have pictures. If I'm going to get a penis massage from an illiterate girl, I hope she's at least sexy as fuck. That said, the idiot girl who posted the "Are youbstressed and need a massage" listing seems to have been eliminated from consideration because she forgot to write down her contact information. Many listings put their phone number in the post title along with a flower emoji, while others put it in the introduction or use BedPage's built-in contact button. The end user - you, me, or anyone else seeking an adult massage - does not have to sign up or log onto the website to see this contact information. This is good news for those who worry about their wives knowing about their totally innocent massages. I must say, however, that I am a little skeptical of some of these listings. Some of the pictures look like the typical amateur semi-porn you see on other escort sites. Another huge hole in their system is the complete lack of user reviews. On most of the good escort sites these days, all decent erotic massages have reviews from guys who have used their services. That helps a lot when you are trying to choose a beautiful, talented girl. You wouldn't order a dubbed sex doll from Amazon if there were zero reviews, and you wouldn't have to pay a lot of money for a flesh and blood bitch with no references. While browsing Bedpage, I kept asking myself who this website is for. They set out to be an alternative to Backpage, and I'm happy to say that they've succeeded completely: a site that is an alternative to Backpage, and this one is a complete success. If you are older and it is something you are familiar with, I mostly understand that, but there are much better options out there for finding a dirty massage in your area. At least on other sites you can browse thumbnails instead of a wall of sexual language with a bunch of emojis thrown in. I am sure you can find a good erotic massage on BedPage and its sister sites Ebackpage & Ibackpage, but it will be more work than it is on other sites like it. I can't recommend this to anyone unless they really miss that shitty, old, outdated Craigslist/Backpage format. If you are really interested in paying someone to touch you tonight, I suggest you use something else from my list of erotic massage sites.