CinemaPee

Let's visit "Cinemapie". I love porn sites. This site doesn't try to hide what it sells with fancy names. A good title tells you what is waiting for you, without playing down that fact. Saying, "I'm going to check out 'Cinema Pee' today" will give you a good idea of what kind of site it is.

Cheaper than a bucket of chickpeas.

I met this babe on Tinder two weeks ago. She was still hungry after eating my semen, so I took her out to an Indian restaurant. I figured that would give us more things to do and be a good opportunity to bring it up.

"Hey," I said. I asked, "What's the difference between chickpeas and lentils?

She smiled and said, "I don't know, what?" I asked.

"No one pays $50 to put lentils on their face."

I thought it was funny, but you would have thought I had peed in her Coke. This uptight college girl got up and left, yelling bullshit about how lentils are nutritious and heart-healthy legumes. Good riddance. Eat your beans.

I guess the good news is that I suddenly saved the 50 bones I had planned on. For $7 for 11 ounces of cocaine and chlamydia-tainted urine, the local crack whore is running a special. Since my last STD test had miraculous results, I decided to check out the free handouts at Cinemapie instead.

There is no poo in my pee.

CinemaPee.com is similar to other free porn tubes, only with piss videos instead of BJs and gangbangs. The site's motto is "Your Golden Stream Entertainment". Below that is a half-hearted, not-so-catchy, search engine keyword-stuffed phrase: Pissing Tube with Free Peeing Videos and Squirting Girls.

It's interesting to see "squirting" in a site about peeing. If you Google the subject and really think about it scientifically, you will find many mysteries about the miracle of female squirting. Some people really think it's just piss.

To test the waters, I typed "squirting" into the search bar, and CinemaPee now has only 16 squirting videos. There must be a lot more on the common porn tube.

Speaking of shit and giggles, this site only deals with giggles. However, I prefer not to have shit mixed in with my piss. It's normal for sites like this to have both, so CinemaPee can appeal to those who don't want to see brown stains on their girls.

Poop is even more fucking dirty and dangerously filthy. Rub poop in your face and you may have to have your eyeballs amputated, but healthy human pee is sterile. Healthy people's pee is sterile, so it can smell. Thank you, Cinemapie, for not mixing gold and poison.

A relentless torrent of money pouring out.

I visited the site early in the afternoon, but even so, there had already been dozens of updates that day. Oh dear, this is what I typed into CinemaPee's search bar for Chinese Coke. Sorry, no results found, it said. I tried again, in Chinese and Coke, but nothing came up.

All kidding aside, this search function is a real mess. The search results can be sorted by "most relevant," "most recent," "most highly rated," and "most viewed," which is great. The problem, however, is that your search doesn't actually yield all the results you are looking for. The Chinese Coke video might actually be there, but I don't know.

There are 39 clips filed under Squirting Girl and 103 clips filed under Squirting Orgasm. In other words, my earlier search for "squirting" was bullshit. Even using the search bar, a broad term like "squirting" does not yield complete results.

Extreme Pissing and Open Air Pissing

Since the search function is garbage, the best option for browsing is the category pages. Like the top page, there are lots of thumbnails of girls and pissing. Babe pissing with a candle in a knob represents the Extreme Pissing category, while babe pissing in a kiddie pool invites you to Outdoor Pee.

CinemaPee has only a few dozen categories on its category page. However, pissing is already a fairly deep niche. The fact that there are so many genres is impressive.

Facial pissing is the most popular category, with 333 videos of bitches getting pissed on. When lemonade and Mountain Dew aren't enough, fans can also take the piss. You can see sluts getting pissed on their cunts, pissed on their asses, and pissed on their cocks.

A Taste of Premium Piss

Remember the video I mentioned earlier of Victoria Daniels pissing on Jenny Simons? It's a nice clip, but it's only 5 minutes of a longer scene. To watch the whole thing in 4K HD, you need to sign up for a VIPissy premium account.

I like that there is a sample from the premium site on the free porn tube. I don't mind that they are meant to lure viewers into buying the more expensive versions. But I find the ads a bit distracting on CinemaPee.

The VIPissy banner below the video is fine, and the Close and Play ads that appear before you watch the video are perfectly fine. What bothers me is that I have to disable my ad blocker to even watch the video. That is like a hooker demanding that you remove your rubber before inserting yourself into her.

The inability to use the ad blocker is really my biggest complaint. It bothers me that I have to let my guard down, even though I haven't been hit hard by spam. I never ask for barebacking until at least the second date. Or the second drink.

If you can deal with some intrusive spam and lackluster search engines, CinemaPee is a decent site. It has a good selection of Golden Shower clips, all free.