Daughter For Dessert

DfD aka Daughter For Dessert. It's ironic that in the depths of a week-long masturbation binge, we sometimes forget to eat, even though we're popping cherries and stuffing cream pies every hour. "Daughter for Dessert" is a kinky video game that tackles this problem head-on and, hopefully, includes giving it a brain.

Daughter for Dessert is hosted by Love-Joint-Games.com and gets about 5,000 visitors per day. This may be a few less than "Fortnite," but it seems much easier to masturbate to. I could be completely wrong because it's just a name, but it has nearly 6,000 paying patrons on Patreon. Now that we've filled our wall-mounted penis stimulator with gasoline, let's see what those visitors are waving their genitals at.

There is no incest in this incest game. Wallop.

I went into this game blind and knew nothing about it except that someone said it might be worth watching. When I pasted the URL into my browser, I got a warning screen. Not the "Adults Only" message that is common on porn sites. It's strangely specific.

This is fiction. All characters are over 18 years old. There are no blood relations between the characters and all intercourse is completely consensual."

As a guy who watches a lot of kinky stuff on the Internet, I can tell you that warnings like this are generally legally covered. I now strongly hope that this warning is a big lie, or at least a misleading half-truth.

The image on the page doesn't work, but it is also already clear that this is not some half-baked bullshit drawn by a retard in MS Paint 10 years ago, but is made of pixel graphics that would have looked good in 1992. The young women, lying on the beach in bikinis and staring seductively at the camera, are drawn in a realistic CG style. You don't have to be a hentai to get turned on by these sexy girls.

There is a link to the Love Joint website and a Patreon page at the bottom of the screen, but you can jump right in. There is an option to download the game, but I chose to start the game in my browser. Like most people who masturbate at work or at home, I'm not worried about having a porn game on my desktop; I'm totally lubricated, so I guess I shouldn't have taken my third dose of Chinese erectile enhancement pills.

Running a diner to tie up the sex scene

Before the game begins, Daughter for Dessert offers a few quick tips to improve your game performance. They are quite ordinary, but of particular concern is that playing the game in the browser's super-secret porn mode can cause problems saving the game. If your wife notices Love Joint in your history, blame your kids.

Once you decide on a name, you are dropped into an empty dining room, with some dialogue scrolling at the bottom of the screen. This is Chapter One of Daughter for Dessert. As the boss, I guess I am giving these hot servers instructions. So far, it's all boring work, like making coffee, but once the ladies start following my instructions, ideas start to come to me.

The voice girls are sweet, with a little stiffness in their acting, but with insanely cute voices. The music is a seriously homoerotic acoustic guitar that sounds like a sexless moment in a boring teen drama. I clicked on the options gear and immediately canceled that bullshit.

Ever wanted to run a diner? Sounds like a lot of fun, doesn't it? Keeping customers waiting, managing employees and resources, that kind of job. Yeah, I don't. After a few minutes, I picked a line at random and tried to do my best. I honestly don't give a shit what the customers want, if the store goes under, or if terrorists blow it up. Let me see your tits.

(Skip buttons, like the '88 DeLorean, work to send all the baubles back in time. They must know that many of us are bored with reading and managing coffee orders. If we miss the dialogue, we are forced to respond anyway.)

CGI's first look at boobs

An obnoxious customer gave me a hard time about the coffee, but "Daughter for Dessert" didn't give me the option to tell him to go away. However, the man did find my handsome employee's cell phone, giving me the opportunity to engage in the gross behavior that was the reason I played this game. When I found her nude pictures and porn folder, my character's heart started pounding through the speakers.

Finding dirty pictures and videos is always fun, whether in real life or in a porn game. I thought this game was setting up a scavenger hunt type thing and the prizes were all like this, Daughter for Dessert is a cut above. When my guy finished looking at her smut, he found an erotica she had written featuring him.

"Pornudo was busy in the kitchen when his childhood friend walked in." Her hips swayed in a happy little way because of the gift he had given her."

More dirty talk. Apparently she wanted my sperm on her face, which seemed to lead to a good sex scene. But my guy was pouting. He put the phone away and started reminiscing about the boring non-sex I skipped.

Let's skip the sex scene.

Actually, I had a habit of skipping. When I confronted the woman about it, it was just an awkward conversation. I went home, had another awkward conversation, and this time I didn't end up having sex with the hot girl, but I finally had a wet dream after I went to bed.

The sex is just a few detailed CG renderings of a slut with big tits who wants my balls and is angling for them. There is a fair amount of dialogue that clicks along with the sound of wet insertion, but it's boring conversation and not about sex. It's like watching "Game of Thrones," only with nudity, so you have to pay attention to the boring parts.

After a few minutes it abruptly ends and I am once again faced with blue balls and another teasing conversation with my daughter. I try to hide my erection, insisting that it's the car keys that are dripping with tropes, but I'm not offered the option of just handing them over.

As the chapter progresses, I find myself hitting the skip button more often. I was supposed to date an employee who wanted my dick, but it didn't work out. When I got home, something may have happened while I was Skipping, but I don't know. It was an intimate scene or my daughter was on the screen. I do know that when I Skipped back to the dining room, several naked butts were skipped over without pausing for my enjoyment. That skipping mechanism needs to be seriously studied.

After missing the asses, I got a message thanking me for playing the first chapter of "DFD". To play more chapters and other games, it seems I need to become a paying patron.

Porn games always work by getting you to do non-sexual things in exchange for dirty pictures and interactive batting scenes. If you look at my list of porn game sites, you'll see that most of them are boring monster fights followed by blowjobs and anal; Daughter for Dessert is more of a legitimate dating simulator; it's a game that allows you to play a game that is not about sex, but rather about a game that is about a woman's sexuality, and that is a game about a woman's sexuality. All of the in-between parts that make up the majority of the game lead to sex in a more meaningful and realistic way. I have had sex far more often after getting an adult drunk than after stabbing an orc with a penis-shaped sword. The big question is whether you have what it takes to catch one of these women.

In Daughter for Dessert, getting laid and looking at pictures is no easy task. This is a game for those who enjoy the hunt, or for sheikhs who want to reasonably simulate interaction with a woman. The creators have built a very immersive world, so make sure you have extra time before playing.