Fetish.com

you have a fetish. If you answered yes, it would be nice if someone would indulge this perversion. Maybe you're lucky and already have a fat woman who steps on your face, a submissive babe who can tie her up, or a couple who lets you cook naked while calling you a dirty pig. looking. Hell, thanks to the magic of the internet, no one should settle for a bad partner who doesn't understand the finer points of BDSM or how to properly tie a clove knot.

Of course, knowing where to look helps. Fetish.com is a thriving global community of perverts with a twist. As you would expect from a one-word domain, the brand has been around for quite a while, but its current incarnation came around 2015. Consenting adults can meet online to find out where they meet in real life, then slap each other with the ungreased end of a nine-tailed cat's pen. Okay, before we go in, maybe I should say the safe word.

Better way than ever Craigslist

I mentioned Craigslist because it was one of the first places on the web where strange behavior was discovered tonight or earlier. I know they got rid of adult ads not too long ago, but it's hard to imagine this indecisive text-only shit working today. I've looked at some crappy escort sites that try to maintain this lo-fi aesthetic, but it just looks lazy. Fetish.com is neither Craigslist nor an escort site and falls under the category of adult dating. Sure, we'll put it in the Sex Dating section, but on their front page it's called Fetish Dating. You might not even go out to dinner or have sex, but she might suffocate you with her thighs before the night is over.

Even if you were completely illiterate, I think you would understand what a fetish is. The landing page is sleek, modern, and attractive, with a dark purple color scheme that screams perverse if you missed the background image of a sexy cunt with a dog collar and chain. If it takes too long, it pops up again and again to remind a little.

Maybe you're just a tourist for now, but that's okay too. In fact, Fetish.com has many free resources available for non-members. Some of these include basic information about BDSM and fetishes, magazines and active forums where you can dive in and read without registering. (Of course, the registration popup will continue until you finally register.)

To be honest, you'll want to sign up to be part of the community. That being said, I was a little surprised to see so many local listings of BDSM/fetish activities in the US and UK. You can view them without registering on the site. Most sites have links to individual websites where you can get more information or get someone to fart through a tube attached to their mouth.

Join the community of absolute deviants

I was content to look around the check-in-free zone for a few more minutes, but damn, that purple-lipped grouchy bitch showed up every few minutes. I eventually gave in and hit the "Join" button, donated my email address, and ticked the box that said I was male. (Other options include women, couples, transgender, and non-binary, so all are included.)

You will soon receive a confirmation/activation email. All that's left is to choose a nickname and tick a few boxes about people you're interested in or what you're looking for. I searched and decided to go for broke. There are also boxes for networking and BDSM lovers. Plus, you can save it online with Pic Exchange and Cybersex options.

After uploading a photo or skipping this step, Fetish.com will redirect you to your personal account. As with any social site, new users who don't have friends initially get a fairly simple news feed. As soon as you enter, you see ads tempting you to download homemade porn, pictures of strippers and selfies of cute goth girls, cosplay chicks, ebony hotties, tattooed MILFs, and plump women with pretty faces. There are some ugly ones too. It comes with any social/dating site.

What I quickly noticed was that all the chickens in the feed were very far away. Sorry, Americans, but they show distances in kilometers, and they don't care how you feel about it and whether you understand the numbers. I went to the search filters and found a local girl to pee late tonight.

And this is where Fetish.com blocked me.If you don't have a Premium or VIP membership, you'll find that even the most basic filters are blocked. I guess it's time to pay some cash or troll truck stops and come back to find a freaky, tweaked bitch next to anything for $100.

What Paid Subscribers Get.

Before complaining about prices, it should be mentioned that free users can use the Fetish.com messaging system. I see a lot of dating sites that completely limit messages until you pay, making the "free" membership almost worthless. At the very least, you can chat here, but the lack of search filters is also a major barrier to using the site.

This raises the question of how much a full ticket will cost. Prices start at around €10/month for premium packages and €17/month for VIP, with lower rates for longer memberships. A year is divided roughly into 54 or 90 years, respectively.

The registration page scoffs at some facts and figures about what you're missing as a free user. It has 200,000 disgusting images, the ability to show up in search results, and best of all, there are 33 local kinksters in my area. Heck, those blocked search filters look more useful now.

Fetish.com has a large checklist of benefits and features for VIP and Premium members. Your profile access has been improved, you're easier to be noticed, and there are some really basic features like the ability to add friends and skip terrible ads. The biggest difference between Premium and VIP is the rooms. Premium members can upload 15 videos, but VIP is unlimited, which allows VIP users to expose more profile visitors and receive more icebreaking messages.

But is it worth it. In fact, I think a lot comes down to one number on the registration page. This is a number that tells you how many local kinksters there are in your area. If you're a local freak, you might want to sign up for at least a month, if only to see what weird and twisted fun you can have at night when your wife is out of town.

One of the most important factors for any type of dating site is the number of members. Because in a ghost town they won't beat you with all sorts of whips. Fetish.com has 500,000 monthly visitors and has made friends with many freaks. Signing up is quick and easy, so I encourage anyone with a sexual interest to at least take a look. Finally, you may meet someone who wants to try felting.