SpankWire
https://spankwire.com
Spank Wire As a "Porn Dude" who catalogs the best porn on the Internet, I am well aware that I am plagued with choices. There are so many choices that I never know what to display on my laptop when I oil the pipes. The safest bet is the free tube sites. They cost nothing and usually have tons of different content. Today I'm going to show you one of the classic video tubes, SpankWire.com.
I know some of you old time pervs are thinking, SpankWire. That site is still around. Yes, it's been around for over a decade, peaked around 2011, and while it's a fraction of the traffic it had in its heyday, it still gets 50 million sessions a month. Here's a look at what they are doing right and what they are doing wrong.
Everything inside is pink
SpankWire features the same basic tube setup we've seen many times before, but this time in a soft pink and blue theme appropriate for little girls. But instead of cartoon puppies and hearts, all the images are of hardcore sex. The main page is dominated by a grid of thumbnails of various fuck flicks.
Hovering over an image brings up a series of more still images from that clip. This is not an uncommon feature for porn tubes, but what you don't see often are the mini screen capture rows that appear at the bottom of the preview. This makes it easy to jump from cap to cap, so you can see if the clip has what you want before you click on it.
The default view on the main page has "Top Rated" clips, "Trending Videos," and "Recent Videos" in that order. There is a "More" button under each, and several more sorting options are available from the drop-down menu in the header.
Sorting by longest video does not work exactly. The first few dozen pages show videos of what seem to be inaccurate hours. They all appear to be hundreds of hours long. I wanted to test my endurance with a marathon session of mango manipulation, but none of these epic length clips loaded.
If you want to sort by category, click on the category link in the header. The most popular are collected at the top of the page. If you want everyday depravity like anal, interracial, or hardcore, it's one-stop shopping. You may need to poke around a bit to get to the deepest niches, but in fact we have an entire 16 pages of categories alone. Your fetish is probably covered. For example, on the first page you will find Pissing, Toon, and Wrestling.
Once you step off the top page by choosing a category or another sorting method, things change a bit. The main difference is more ads.
Even with my ad blocker, the grid of clips is divided by some huge ads for premium porn and penis drugs. Some of them will not load, instead giving me an empty box that says ads. Without these ads, there would have been room for more than 8 videos per page. Some videos did not load at all and there was usually a lag of a few seconds when I tried to skip to different spots in the video. This was on a weekday afternoon, not exactly peak porn viewing time. Of course, load times are not necessarily caused by the site itself; they can vary depending on all sorts of factors. But this is still not enough to make a determination.
Too bad spam isn't sexy.
The first time I tried to watch a video on SpankWire, I was presented with something unpleasant: pop-underspam. It was one of those fake blue screen-of-death things that makes you think Windows has crashed. Of course, I'm not an absolute fucking moron, so I just closed the window, but I'm not impressed with that attempt.
This happened with my ad blocker turned on. A few seconds later, just below the SpankWire header, I got the message "AdBlock is enabled and some features may not work properly. Please disable it to view the site properly." Nice try, but I won't let you in so easily.
Unfortunately, I soon learned about these features that may not work correctly; I clicked on a video called Horny Guy Bangs Two Sweet Chicks. In the screenshot, the guy in my pants demanded to see the clip as the two blondes were doing a double team action. The video did not play, and instead I got a "The media could not be loaded because there was a server or network failure or the format is not supported." I got a message saying.
After turning off the blocker and refreshing, the video played fine. The title Horny Guy gave a satisfying clamp to the younger of Two Sweet Chicks, plus a dick enlargement ad mixed in with the collection on the side of the screen.
The strange thing is that it seems to contradict itself; I turned AdBlock back on, refreshed it, and it worked fine. If you get the "media could not be loaded" error, try reloading the page before disabling the ad blocker.
See, I get it. They are offering porn for free and need to make a profit somehow. Just think of another, less obtrusive way to do it. Other sites have found ways to make it work, but SpankWire is lagging behind.
Looking at the traffic numbers, SpankWire seems to be a little more active these days. It still has a long way to go to regain its former glory. The basic skeleton is there and the content is decent, but we feel that better decisions need to be made regarding the structure and monetization of the site.
So is a visit to SpankWire worth it? In my opinion, that's about it. Free is a great price, and its collection is varied enough to satisfy all but the most depraved victims of porn addiction. If you don't mind a little spam and a few non-HD clips, you can definitely rub it out.
- Free
- Lots of spam